It's not that easy being Green
by gatogirl1
Summary: This started as a joke and turned into a fic...just the tales of star-crossed-or Starhopping not-really-lovers...Wait! Who's this? Jaken?
1. Default Chapter

All she could remember was a loud scream followed by one of her own.  
  
And then darkness. Time passed her unaware.  
  
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/  
  
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The first thing she knew, was that it was completely dark, and that a funny smell was tickling her nostrils. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, the ones that hadn't stirred in all the time she'd been unconscious, and realized that it was dark because her eyes were closed. She inhaled deeply, trying to place the smell. Suddenly she realized what that repulsive stench was and her eyes flew open in shock and surprise. With the sudden flood of light to her desensitized eyes, all she could see was a bright blur that shone down on a figure leaning over her. The way each particle of light seemed to originate from the dark outline made one's mind think of angels and miracles.  
  
But Starhopper knew she wasn't in heaven.  
  
"Jaken!" she croaked with a voice that was cracked from days of unuse. "What are you doing here?!"  
  
"My love!" Jaken proclaimed in what he thought was a suitably romantic and excited tone. The sound came out more like a sick cow trying to sing an aria. "You've finally awoken!"  
  
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.  
  
Sooooo, okay, you could be saying. Gatogirl1's finally cracked. Naaaah! I found a whole bunch of my old writings and decided to post them. I'd left them on my home computer, but since I'm always on my laptop at school...I sorta forgot about them all. Won't be offended if you don't review; I just wanted to put this crazy little ongoing fic up. I started this one for my dearest amiga Starhopper, in part to make up for all those lost years of friendship. For all those who don't know, Starhopper is a sweet, celestial, and ever-so-beautiful frog...who once spied by the hideous Jaken has been running for her life(and innocence?? @_@) ever since. Hooray for us frog and cow sistas! ^_^  
  
Oh yes. I can't own Inuyasha; why would I want to own Jaken?  
  
-gatogirl1 


	2. Terms of Endearment

Don't own Inuyasha. Someone offered to give me Jaken, but I refused.  
  
Chapter Two: Terms of endearment  
  
. . .  
  
Last time:  
  
"My Love!" Jaken proclaimed in what he thought was a suitably romantic and excited tone. The sound came out more like a sick cow trying to sing an aria. "You've finally awoken!"  
  
/ / /  
  
Starhopper tried to struggle to her feet, away from the repulsive creature leaning precariously close to her. But as she gathered her webbed feet beneath her, a wave of dizziness and nausea swept through her, knocking her back onto her rear.  
  
"Don't move yet, my scrumptious Housefly!" Jaken placed a slimy pad against her back to stabilize her. Starhopper shivered under his oblivious touch. "You have a lump on your head the size of an avocado, so you shouldn't try moving around too much." Unwillingly, Starhopper stayed seated. "Just relax under my soothing touch, my delectable Leek, and I will tend to your every need."  
  
"Aaaah!" Starhopper tore herself out of his caress, ignoring the throbbing pain in her head. She scrambled backwards, a look of sheer horror colliding with her eyes. Her eyes shot open even further as she saw Jaken hurrying after her, holding his arms out in an attempt to calm the frightened female.  
  
"Did I touch a tender spot, my pickled Cucumber? My apologies; I will make my amends by caring for your every hurt. No injury too small to be ignored by this toad!" In the back of her mind, Starhopper had a breakthrough. Jaken didn't realize that he disgusted her?? She stopped her crab walking, seeing how Jaken was gaining on her, and tried to think up a new plan of escape.  
  
Thinking she was accepting his offer to help her, Jaken beamed down at the disheveled amphibian. He was not prepared to see her pull herself onto her webbed feet, turn towards the thick woods around them, and leap out of sight.  
  
"My wilted Lettuce Leaf!!! Wait!"  
  
/ / /  
  
This is too much fun. I'm starting to run out of green vegetables though. ^_^ Guess I should go back to studying now...Thanks to "Reh" and the "Willing Mirror" for help on the terms of endearment!  
  
^_^ ~gatogirl1 


	3. Stuff finally starts happening

In which I finally begin to put some plot possibilities in the story or: In which Starhopper gets far enough away from Jaken to allow something interesting to finally start happening  
  
[I love titles like that!]  
  
Hmmm...considered buying a Jaken plushie the other day...who WOULD want to own him?  
-gatogirl1  
  
/ / /  
  
Last time:  
  
"My wilted Lettuce Leaf!!! Wait!"  
  
/ / /  
  
Starhopper leapt away from that voice like her life depended on it. Which, in her mind, it probably did. Once more moment in the presence of that repulsive, horrid toad and she didn't think she'd be able to control the demon locked away deep inside of her. [A/N: Sorry Starhopper! But as of now, you have a demon! I know this is news to you, but...-shrugs] Even though she was pushing her whole self into escaping from that green squawk- box, his voice wasn't fading into the foliage as quickly as she'd hoped. Rather, his voice seemed to be getting steadily closer. Perhaps all his years of chasing the mischievous Rin had finally paid off.  
  
"Oh my sweet pickle, come back! You have a lump on your head the size of a rotten melon! Don't...run...off...and leave...me!"  
  
The celestial frog redoubled her efforts, pushing past the increasingly hard-to-ignore pounding of her head. All but flying, she shot past miles of trees faster than a pickup line, finally putting some real distance between herself and Jaken. And speaking of pickup lines, who was that up ahead in that clearing...?  
  
. . . [A/N: Let's have some fun now, shall we?]  
  
Starhopper slowed down to investigate and to prevent becoming frog road-kill smashed against one of the massive trees that was filling the becoming darker forest. Glancing around nervously, she realized she had no idea where she was...and the only light source was a dim glow from the rooftops of the trees. Not a single clear ray of light could penetrate through the thick foliage; rather, a ghostly sheen danced down from the heavens, barely creating enough light to see by. But further on...! Aha! Light and a break from these increasingly depressing trees was waiting for her! Starhopper headed for the clearing, hoping to kill the chill of claustrophobia that was beginning to creep over her.  
  
Apparently, she wasn't the only one with that idea. There was a group of people resting in the refuge of sunlight that illuminated one small piece of the forest. Getting closer, she recognized the relaxed group; in particular, one purple-robed houshi...  
  
"Miroku-sama!" Starhopper cheered, then leapt into the clearing in front of the surprised monk. Beaming up into his handsomely startled visage, she waited for his smile of recognition. His smile was closely followed with the opening of his arms, which Starhopper quickly took advantage of, flinging herself at him for a glomping hug. The rest of the group took longer to recover from her sudden appearance; Kagome and Shippo were wearing identical looks of their normal confusion. Sango's surprise seemed tinged with hints of suspicion and...was that jealousy? Inuyasha didn't look too surprised, but this was probably due to the fact that he was angrily resting in a two-foot hanyou-shaped trench- courtesy of Kagome's temper and his own renegade mouth. Kirara coolly watched Starhopper from her peripheral vision; Starhopper paused for a moment from her joyful greeting to the monk to glare at the fire-cat.  
  
A bolt of electrical hatred passed between the two rivals.  
  
"Ano..." Miroku tried to diffuse the situation, in part because he happened to be holding the receiver of one end of the glare. "So, Starhopper-sama, what brings you into my arms this time?"  
  
/ / /  
  
^_~ Huggles for Starhopper! Are you blushing yet? And I've got plans for Kirara, being a big fan of hers myself...or am I her? I forget. Is she one of my personalities or just one of my aliases? 


	4. Their History Together

If we all owned Inuyasha, there'd be no need for police.

-gatogirl1

...

**History**

. . .  
  
"Ano..." Miroku tried to diffuse the situation, in part because he happened to be holding the receiver of one end of the glare. "So, Starhopper-sama, what brings you into my arms this time?"   
  
Starhopper turned away from her rival, her frown turning into a beaming smile all for the purple-robed houshi. "Why, Miroku-sama," she nearly purred...as much as a frog that spends its time leaping from planet to planet can purr. "How could I keep myself away? Every moment we are apart cuts me deeply to the heart. All I have are your memories to keep me warm at night..." The whole group stared in horrified shock at the two.  
  
"H...houshi-dono..." Sango stuttered, her face turning a rose pink.  
  
Starhopper let out a flirtatious giggle, twirling Miroku's ponytail around with her front webbed foot. "Do you think you could remind of our past times together? I seem to have forgotten some of those fabulous techniques you showed me last time. I mean, I know you can move in ways that I can only watch with envy, but if you just give me the chance to practice them a few more times, I'll become as talented as you someday!"  
  
Even Inuyasha had the grace to blush.  
  
Miroku smiled down at the amphibian clasped in his arms, ignoring the stunned reactions of his fellow Shikon no Tama seekers. "Why, Starhopper- sama! I thought you'd never ask! I'm so pleased you've returned to me for further tutelage! I figured once you started out on your own, you'd never return to your first master. You'll have to show me all the things you've learned during your travels tonight. Once it gets a bit later and the sun starts to set..."  
  
Wham! Hiraikotsu slammed down hard on his head, knocking the monk to the ground.  
  
When Miroku collected his once-again-rattled wits and dignity about him, he looked up from his crumpled position at the steaming Sango. "S...Sango-sama," he sounded surprised. "To what do I owe this dubious pleasure to?" Sango blanched at his oblivious response, unable to intelligently respond to the lecher. "After all," Miroku continued, pulling his abused body into a seated, meditative pose. "Starhopper was the first student I ever taught how to cook. It is only natural that we compare recipes when we see each other."  
  
The group facefaulted.  
  
Kagome turned to Starhopper, who'd jumped free of Miroku's hug just before Sango's boomerang had smashed down on the monk. "Is that right?"  
  
Starhopper grinned up at Kagome and the rest of the questioning looks directed her way. "Of course!" She held up a flipper in a close approximation to a 'V' as a frog can get. "When I first met Miroku-sama, I couldn't cook to save my life! I was seriously living off flies, cans of cold chili, and boxes of broken pocky. [A/N: Doesn't this happen to many a college student? ] Miroku came across me and kindly taught me the secrets of the culinary arts. Wait..." Starhopper adopted a confused, innocent expression. "What did you think my and Miroku's relationship entailed?"  
  
"Well, um..." Kagome stuttered, unwilling to admit that her mind had pictured a far more, ahem!, intimate relationship due to the way they'd been smiling knowingly at each other. "Never mind," she quickly waved her hands to cut off the explanation that Inuyasha looked ready to blurt out, thinking quickly to the underage kitsune.  
  
"So tonight," Starhopper continued. "I'll be serving you the greatest meal you've ever eaten!"  
  
Kirara was the only one who looked displeased at this idea. With a growl, she fluffed her tails, then turned grumpily her back on the group.  
  
Everyone blinked, confused, at Kirara's unusual behavior. "Kirara?" Kagome put everyone's confusion into words. "What's the matter?"

...

Ha! Couldn't resist a bit of playing around! It's just too much fun! I was going to get to the rivalry between Starhopper and Kirara but I had to try out this idea first. Look forward to the next chapter soon!  
  
Thanks to my reviewers:  
  
GreaterBeast-Xellas: Where'd you find the Jaken stuffie? I've only seen Kirara...  
  
MVT: Muchas Gracias!   
  
Starhopper: Never knew you were this lecherous, did you? [smirks] I promised I'd get up a new chapter before you got back from vacation!   
  
Quote of the chapter: "I am logged in; therefore I am." 


End file.
